Up until recently when I found out she was indeed a she, I was convinced she was a he so my thoughts about life-lessons mostly focused on how chivalrous my son was going to be. Every time a man didn't offer me a chair, I thought, my son will know better. When a male neighbor didn't nod his head at me after passing me on the stairs, I thought, my son will have much better social skills. And when one specific superior at work acted in his typically unsympathetic fashion to the fact that my entire body is fatter and weaker, I thought, thank God my son's biggest male influence in his life will be my husband, and he'll know how women should be treated.
Now I know I'm having a little girl, my entire lesson plan has altered slightly, but thanks to Conan O'Brien, I have my first entry ready to go. It's a lesson that I rarely exhibit myself but now I will try to on a regular basis. In Conan's last speech, he looked at the camera and began by stating that since these were his last few moments at NBC, he could really say whatever he wanted. I was expecting some sly backhanded slam at the troubled network, one that couldn't literally be taken as "badmouthing" since apparently his out-contract prohibits him from saying anything negative, but something cleverly stated around those stipulations.
Instead, with tears in his eyes, he starts going through his career at NBC starting as a writer for Saturday Night Live in 1988, that would make him 25 years old, pretty much the beginning of his adult life and me, 8 years old, pretty much the age when I started watching and enjoying the less mature jokes on Saturday Night Live. Now anyone around my age, born in 1980, remembers how Saturday nights went from the ages of 8 to about 13, or at least this is how mine went. We would have all girl sleepovers. When we got a little older, we would hope that our friends' brothers would be having a sleepover, too, but nothing went passed a little flirting with those boys, then we would sit together and watch Saturday Night Live, actually live on Saturday night.
Little did I know that the genius behind the sketches making us laugh so hard and mimic at school the following week was Conan O'Brien. Then came "The Simpsons". Now I do remember Simpson's notebooks and paraphernalia getting banned at my Catholic school, but for the most part, I don't think parents or even teachers were discouraging students from watching it. They just wanted to keep it separate from the learning process. That didn't work so well for me. In the next 12 years of my schooling, I think I can count 3 different theoretical papers and one speech that I gave about "The Simpsons". Hey, I'm a T.V. addict, what else am I going to write or talk about? And the most influential seasons for me, came from Conan O'Brien's fingertips.
Then came "Late Night with Conan O'Brien". To this day, I don't watch the Late Show live. Occasionally, I watched David Letterman to see the Top Ten List, and honestly, I was only 13 when Conan took over so I was still probably going to bed super early (what am I talking about, still? I would go to bed at 9 now if I weren't working). The one thing I knew, though, was that it was a big deal that this Conan O'Brien guy was taking over. The whole thing was big. My family was happy that David Letterman was moving to an earlier time slot on CBS because they always liked him much more than Leno, and Conan had already built a pretty big name for himself, plus, he was an Irish Catholic. We liked him by default.
Eventually "Late Night" started getting aired on Comedy Central the next day, and I began watching Conan more regularly. I would be sitting alone in my apartment laughing hysterically out loud with my window open. What people walking by must have wondered. I started to study up on this Conan guy and found out about his past resume including his Bachelor of Arts from Harvard among several other commendations. He was no phony. This guy was and is a genius, and we Americans are all better off for this genius having chosen comedy as his preferred field as opposed to something that has no beneficial effect on us whatsoever like astrophysics or law (sarcasm button... slightly, I'm still serious about the comedy thing). I even ordered a t-shirt with a cartoon Conan O'Brien on it from NBC. I still have it and wear it.
It seems like yesterday when NBC announced that Conan would eventually take over "The Tonight Show", but when it happened, I remember thinking that it was SO far away. Then all of a sudden, it was 2009, and boom, there was Conan in an earlier time slot. I still don't watch it live because I don't watch anything live. Even if I want to watch something live, I Tivo it, then watch it 18 minutes later. Sorry advertisers. But I do Tivo Conan every single night. I wouldn't say that I watch every minute of every show because we all know that some celebrities are more boring than others, and some I honestly just don't like, but for someone who isn't a loyal talk show watcher and who would never make the effort to watch Letterman regularly and never Leno, this was a big deal. I secretly hope that the satellite companies can tap into my DVR system and figure my recordings into ratings. I know that ratings are all about advertising and if I'm not watching commercials, then I really don't count at all, but a girl can hope.
The point is, Conan is awesome. He's funny, clever, self-deprecating and genuine, and now after watching his final episode I can add graceful, dignified, and loyal. Even after getting royally screwed by NBC, even after having his dream job ripped from him so callously, he remained poised and complimented the network that had employed him for nearly 25 years.
In his last words he stated that whatever the differences were right now between him and NBC, they had had a very good relationship over the past 2 decades and the network was responsible for the majority of his success as an adult. He said that we as viewers have nothing to worry about with him, that he has had so many positive things happen to him in his life that he is happy and grateful. He emphasized that we shouldn't feel sorry for him that he was just lucky that he got to do his dream job for 7 months. He said that if he has to do his show in a 7-11 parking lot, he'll do it, but he's thankful for the outpour of support over these past few weeks. Then the next thing he said hit home. He told us as viewers but especially young people to not be cynical; it's the quality he despises most in people. He said that nothing in life is going to turn out exactly like we planned, but if we're good honest people, we will be rewarded in one way or another. He told us not to be cynical about this or anything.
This is the first bit of advice I'll put on the docket of etiquette and life lessons for my daughter. Nothing will go exactly as planned, but keep your head high and push on, and don't ever feel wronged or bitter. Take everything that happens to you both positive and negative, and learn from it. I know that I still need to learn this from Conan O'Brien, but hopefully my daughter will be a better person than I.
I've been trying to follow his advice, but would he put being vindictive in a subcategory of cynicism? The truth is, I've never thought twice or cared whether Jay Leno succeeded or failed. He's never been on my radar, and even years ago when I learned that his show beat out Letterman, I was surprised because I had NEVER met anyone who watched him, but now I hope he falls on his ass and burns. I can't wait for his ratings to drop so low that NBC realizes that it was all Johnny Carson who set up Leno's success and had nothing to do with that ego-maniac.
I am going to watch Letterman live along with every boring, agonizing minute of commercials and I recommend everyone do this just so Leno's show flops.
I was recently watching TMZ, and I actually enjoy Harvey Levin as the news director. When he goes off on his factual tangents, I'm always eager to learn some new fact that he's sharing with us while his employees get all glassy eyed and dazed. I think he's intelligent and insightful, but I do prefer him as a news director to a reporter himself. I also share his love, not obsession, for the show "Dexter". However, Harvey, I'm sorry but you're an idiot for saying that Conan O'Brien was acting like a baby. First of all, I don't believe that for one second, but if I did, how would you act if you had been promised then given your dream job, then had it unnecessarily and undeservedly taken away? I doubt anyone would go out with as much tact and wit as Conan. Let's be honest, NBC made a HUGE error in judgement, they took it way to far before they realized the mistake they had made, and they had to follow through with it. That is the only logical explanation. Good luck to them.... NOT!
I truly love you, Conan, and while I don't know your wife, I love her, too, because I trust that the woman you decided to spend your life with and make a family with is just as cool a person as you, and I love your children because I can't wait to see what your offspring offers to the world. I will miss you, Conan, and support you in whatever is the next endeavor of your life. Hopefully, I'll see you soon.
