Inanimate Objects Always get the Last Laugh

Do you ever wish that inanimate objects had feelings? When you, say, stub your toe on the corner of your bed frame or knock your knee on your coffee table, you could inflict the same amount of pain on that object that it inflicted upon you.

I was emptying the dishwasher this morning with the cabinet door open above it, and the corner of the cabinet just drilled into the top of my head. I almost instinctively started wailing on the cabinet in retaliation. Then the anger for not being able to get the cabinet back was worse than the actual physical pain.

It reminds me of a time that I was walking through a crowded bar with my brother, and some big oaf grabbed my ass. Instinctively, I turned around and decked the person. He happened to be about the size of a linebacker, and the amount of "pain" my punch inflicted upon him was about the equivalent to the pressure of a graceful declawed cat landing on your lap, but the point was that I noticed the vile act and responded equally and oppositely.

Meanwhile, my brother, shocked, asked, "Why did you just punch that guy?" I answered, "'Cause he grabbed my ass." My brother said, "Good, I wasn't about to mess with him." While I never got around to meeting the gentleman to find out if he was just a drunken idiot or a convicted rapist, I imagine he understood my dissatisfaction.

So how do you make inanimate objects feel the same pain you feel?

NCIS: Los Angeles not as good as NCIS

A few months ago I was surprised to learn that not only is NCIS the most watched drama on television, but that the new one, NCIS: Los Angeles was in the top 20. While I was surprised about NCIS, I wasn't shocked. It's good. The characters are likable, and Mark Harmon, even as an older man, is still hot. I know that they killed Kate's character because the actress wanted to leave the show, but I don't think that I'm the only one that thinks Ziva is like a million times better than Kate. Kate was a holier than thou, uptight bitty, and Ziva, well, Ziva just rocks.

After learning that the L.A. show was doing well, I started TiVoing it. It hasn't exactly captured my undivided attention yet. Now, I like Chris O'Donnell, LL Cool J and come on, Linda Hunt is from the Goonies. How could I not like her? When watching a new episode yesterday, the show began with Kensi, played by Daniela Ruah, getting shot to death. Then they did one of those cliche episodes where they go to 24 hours earlier and work their way to that shooting scene. I was psyched. I thought, "Hey! Maybe this show just got interesting." My husband and I both kind of hoped that she was really dead.

Disappointed, I was. I actually didn't watch the whole episode because it lost my attention halfway through, but I think the gist was that the whole shooting was a set-up, and it was all fake. So Kensi didn't die. I really think the show would have taken a turn for the better had they written her off. She just doesn't bring anything to the table. The scenes without her in them are more entertaining, and out with the truth now. That birth mark on her eye is SO DISTRACTING that I honestly don't pay attention to the plot when she's on because all I see is her crazy eye. Why would they cast someone with such a blatantly visible flaw? I mean, I think it's worse than Owen Wilson's nose or Melissa Joan Hart's mismatched face (this bugs my mom, I actually like her and don't mind her one droopy side).

Anyway, I think I've just about given up on NCIS: L.A. If I hear that Ruah's gone, I might go back to it, but right now I'm addicted to HGTV and dramas just aren't doing it for me, with the exception of "The Good Wife". If you're a woman, you should check it out. It's very entertaining. If you're a dude, it's probably not for you.