My husband and I were recently invited to very important party in his home town, a very small town, not near a big a city. The party was actually the first birthday of his brother's daughter. I know this doesn't sound like that momentous an affair, but because of a genetic disorder, there was a good possibility she wouldn't make it to see the age of one. By the grace of God, she did make it to this birthday, and at the last minute, they decided to have a celebration/fundraiser in honor of this day.
While my sister-in-law (the wife of my husband's brother) is young and hip, and for not having lots of money, still has very good taste, I've always described my husband's family as "for being one state over from my family, they may as well be from a different country". They are wonderful, loving and very supportive people; they just have a completely different way of life, and sometimes it's a culture shock to me.
When I received the email about the birthday party from my father-in-law, the Evite read "This is a Dress-Up Party". I, of course, growing up close to a big city, and having attended "dress-up" parties my entire life, wanted a bit more specificity on what "dress-up" meant. I asked my father-in-law. He repeated what the email said, "Dress-up." I said, "Yeah, I got that, but what kind of dress-up? Formal, semi-formal? Ball gown, cocktail? Business formal? or just going out clubbing on a Friday night get-up?" His answer, "Dress-up."
Okay, "What is my sister-in-law wearing?" He said that she was wearing her prom dress. With this, I have to suspend what I've formerly known as proper prom attire. Girls in this state dress very differently to their proms. Where I'm from, girls wear sexy, slinky, form-fitting dresses, usually the most expensive one you can get your mom to buy you from Neiman Marcus, and it isn't necessarily short or long, but certainly one that no one else will have.
In this state, girls wear these over-the-top, froo-froo cake-topper ball gowns. When I first moved here, I thought that they just hadn't caught up to the rest of the world when it comes to style and fashion, but it's been 8 years and they still wear these huge dresses to prom so I think it's just their thing, like cowboy boots in Texas.
The day of the event, I actually texted my sister-in-law and made sure that she was wearing a ball gown. I told her that I had one ready to go, but I didn't want to be over-dressed. She lol-ed and said that she was indeed wearing a fru-fru pink ruffly, lacy dress. Okay, good. Mine was a bit different, but it was definitely a ball gown. I had borrowed my mother's mother-of-the-groom dress, a gorgeous lavender empire waisted embellished Pronovias full-length ball gown.
When I arrived at the party, about 4 girls were wearing ball gowns, a handful of others were wearing cocktail dresses and every other girl was wearing a top and a skirt. I don't know why it's taken me so long to figure out the specific fashion in this very small town. It's probably because I find myself in so many different apparel situations that I get confused as to what's appropriate in each city. Since this small town used "dress-up" to cover so many bases, I decided to look up what exactly "dress-up" means.
I didn't actually expect to be satisfied with the definition, but I was pleasantly surprised. The first one I came across described it as "to wear one's best clothing". Now it all makes sense. Fashion is unimportant in this tiny little po-dunk town. Where I'm from, there are so many definitions of "dress-up" that the degree of "dress-up" needs to be distinguished. Where fashion doesn't matter, "dressing-up" basically means, No Jeans, No Home-Team-Football Shirts.
I finally understand, if I ever get invited to a "dress-up" event there again (and holidays aren't included, football t-shirts and jeans are welcome.. ha, it's like a foreign country), I will wear a timeless skirt and a simple blouse. It seems to be appropriate 100% of the time in this situation and aside from my being several inches taller than most women, will allow me to blend in much better.
