I need to vent, and since nobody actually reads this, I figured this is as good a journal as any. I've now been married just more than a year. It has certainly been a difficult year as any new marriage is. We brought a child into the world 4 months after the wedding so either I have the gestation period of a beagle or I was knocked up at the ceremony. You draw your own conclusions.

The truth is, we have been together now for several years. We're both in our thirties and honestly, if you think I'm a trick for doing things out of order, please allow me to judge your lifestyle choices and we will see who is the morally corrupt person.

Recently, I tried out for Top Chef. I've heard nothing so I think it's safe to say, I didn't make it. I'm not too bummed out. I didn't feel as qualified as my opponents, and I definitely didn't have the passion to make it as some others. I've never actually seen an episode of Top Chef. People seem shocked when I say this. I've also never seen an episode of Hell's Kitchen, and I only watch the food network when my best friend, Vanessa, turns it on. Although I don't presently work in a full service kitchen (I'm baking cupcakes at a chain), the LAST thing I want to do when I come home is turn on the T.V. and watch the same thing I've been doing all day.

I've watched a couple minutes here and there of the formerly mentioned cooking shows, and it's raised my blood pressure so much that I've had to turn it off. That being said, it's probably a good thing for my heart and my head to not have made it onto Top Chef. Not to say that I don't love cooking. I do. I love food. I love going to restaurants, and I love preparing a meal with no previous thought as to what I will make. I love just going into my fridge and cabinets and seeing what is about to go bad and making it into some delicious concoction that I will savor to its last crumb (usually following a wee bit of herb to really get the appetite juices flowing).

My kitchen is small and outdated, but it's mine. I can't start anything until it's clean, and usually that takes me a good hour because I have 3 people (me, my husband and my baby) to clean up after. Aside from the couple little annoyances that he does, like instead of taking 30 seconds to wash a dirty pan, he'll take 2 minutes to bend over, open the cabinet, pick up the Russian Doll collection of pans to dirty a new one, now creating 2 dirty pans or putting dishes in the dishwasher without rinsing them, I actually don't have a problem cleaning up after him.

I actually like the idea of an old fashioned household where he brings home the bacon and I cook it. I like the role of housewife/homemaker. HOWEVER, I am now noticing that several of my silverware is missing. Why is it that a man who will use a paper plate at home in order to avoid doing dishes will bring my classic, no-longer-made, silverware to work with him, and then proceed to lose it? That drives me BANANAS!!!!!! I'm now missing half my forks and a third of my spoons. Some of my plates are missing, too, but he probably broke those. I'm less upset about that. I want my silverware back.