Ooh, That Denzel!

I love Denzel Washington. My boss thinks he plays the exact same character in every single role. I don't necessarily disagree, but I know he's likable in every role he plays, and more importantly, he's likable in real life. I started really liking him after a David Letterman interview when Denzel thought David was commending Gary Oldman's acting talent. Letterman was actually complimenting Washington, and when he realized the confusion, he actually seemed genuinely surprised and flattered that David Letterman thought he was a talented actor.

Most recently, I watched an interview with him about The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3. This time he mentioned that the makers of the movie had talked to him about the role, but he thought they were actually considering someone else for the part. Ha. If Denzel Washington is interested in a movie role, then the producers aren't looking elsewhere for any other actor. He is the actor you want for the role. If you get him, then you stop looking.

What a cool guy, huh?

What's the Meaning of "Dress-Up"

My husband and I were recently invited to very important party in his home town, a very small town, not near a big a city. The party was actually the first birthday of his brother's daughter. I know this doesn't sound like that momentous an affair, but because of a genetic disorder, there was a good possibility she wouldn't make it to see the age of one. By the grace of God, she did make it to this birthday, and at the last minute, they decided to have a celebration/fundraiser in honor of this day.

While my sister-in-law (the wife of my husband's brother) is young and hip, and for not having lots of money, still has very good taste, I've always described my husband's family as "for being one state over from my family, they may as well be from a different country". They are wonderful, loving and very supportive people; they just have a completely different way of life, and sometimes it's a culture shock to me.

When I received the email about the birthday party from my father-in-law, the Evite read "This is a Dress-Up Party". I, of course, growing up close to a big city, and having attended "dress-up" parties my entire life, wanted a bit more specificity on what "dress-up" meant. I asked my father-in-law. He repeated what the email said, "Dress-up." I said, "Yeah, I got that, but what kind of dress-up? Formal, semi-formal? Ball gown, cocktail? Business formal? or just going out clubbing on a Friday night get-up?" His answer, "Dress-up."

Okay, "What is my sister-in-law wearing?" He said that she was wearing her prom dress. With this, I have to suspend what I've formerly known as proper prom attire. Girls in this state dress very differently to their proms. Where I'm from, girls wear sexy, slinky, form-fitting dresses, usually the most expensive one you can get your mom to buy you from Neiman Marcus, and it isn't necessarily short or long, but certainly one that no one else will have.

In this state, girls wear these over-the-top, froo-froo cake-topper ball gowns. When I first moved here, I thought that they just hadn't caught up to the rest of the world when it comes to style and fashion, but it's been 8 years and they still wear these huge dresses to prom so I think it's just their thing, like cowboy boots in Texas.

The day of the event, I actually texted my sister-in-law and made sure that she was wearing a ball gown. I told her that I had one ready to go, but I didn't want to be over-dressed. She lol-ed and said that she was indeed wearing a fru-fru pink ruffly, lacy dress. Okay, good. Mine was a bit different, but it was definitely a ball gown. I had borrowed my mother's mother-of-the-groom dress, a gorgeous lavender empire waisted embellished Pronovias full-length ball gown.

When I arrived at the party, about 4 girls were wearing ball gowns, a handful of others were wearing cocktail dresses and every other girl was wearing a top and a skirt. I don't know why it's taken me so long to figure out the specific fashion in this very small town. It's probably because I find myself in so many different apparel situations that I get confused as to what's appropriate in each city. Since this small town used "dress-up" to cover so many bases, I decided to look up what exactly "dress-up" means.

I didn't actually expect to be satisfied with the definition, but I was pleasantly surprised. The first one I came across described it as "to wear one's best clothing". Now it all makes sense. Fashion is unimportant in this tiny little po-dunk town. Where I'm from, there are so many definitions of "dress-up" that the degree of "dress-up" needs to be distinguished. Where fashion doesn't matter, "dressing-up" basically means, No Jeans, No Home-Team-Football Shirts.

I finally understand, if I ever get invited to a "dress-up" event there again (and holidays aren't included, football t-shirts and jeans are welcome.. ha, it's like a foreign country), I will wear a timeless skirt and a simple blouse. It seems to be appropriate 100% of the time in this situation and aside from my being several inches taller than most women, will allow me to blend in much better.

Just 'cause you edu-ma-cated, don't make you smart

I unfortunately and accidentally heard a commercial while doing dishes tonight. I didn't have the remote nearby to fast-forward through it. It was for Mutual of Omaha. A woman named Altheia was proudly announcing how her mom was the first of several children to graduate from college. She then held of a photo and said, "This is a picture of my mother and I at my undergraduate degree." Altheia then went on to brag about she now had a masters degree.

Would it be possible to call Mutual of Omaha and ask them what awful degenerate low standard college gave this Altheia a masters degree yet didn't explain to her what an object of a preposition is? They actually put a woman in their commercial bragging about her high education while simultaneously making one of the most elementary grammatical errors in the book. I don't even know what Mutual of Omaha is, but I assure you, they will NEVER have my business.

By the way, if you're confused about what is upsetting me, the proper syntax would have been, "This is a picture of my mother and me."

Lack of Attention to Detail in Casting T.V. shows

At first the topic of lack of attention to detail in T.V. casting for me went no further than the height difference between parent and child. One of my many pet (or should I say petty?) peeves is when shows cast actors who are noticeably shorter than the the actors playing their parents. I will expand on this topic shortly, but now I've spent the last week watching live television in real time because our DVR broke and rather than slitting my wrists, I'm "patiently" awaiting our replacement. This means, I can't fast forward stupid, annoying, pointless drivel and I'm forced to watch every painful minute of every T.V. show. Wow! Who knew there was such garbage on so many channels? Even more importantly, who knew there were so many easily fixed mistakes?

Now back to my height issue. It all began with the first season of 24 when Vicellous Reon Shannon was cast as President David Palmer's son. Palmer, played by Dennis Haysbert (the Allstate Insurance guy), is 6'4 1/2". His son, while an exact age was never given, was portrayed as a man in his early 20s, full grown, and looked to be about 5'8". Have you ever in the history of your life met someone that much shorter than their parent of the same gender? First of all, I don't think I've ever met an adult in my life who is indeed shorter than their respective parent, and if I have, it certainly hasn't been by 8 1/2 inches. After seeing this discrepancy, I've polled many people on the topic, and even people whose voices got a little higher with their answer, "Well, I'm not taller than my dad. Maybe the same height." Still not shorter.

I couldn't pay attention to any scene with Palmer's son in it because all I did was dwell on the inexplicable height difference. An easily fixed solution? Yes. Is Shannon that great of an actor that he couldn't easily be replaced by another young black man who happens to be closer in height to Haysbert? Have you ever heard of him until now?

Ironically, the only person I can think of who is actually shorter than their parent is Kiefer Sutherland, nearly by the same difference as Shannon and Haysbert. It's quite strange. I wonder how short Kiefer's mom is or was. Still doesn't excuse the discontinuity of the casting of Palmer's son. The Sutherlands are probably one in a million, and 24 already cast an amazon man as Jack Bauer's dad so they used up their one genetic anomaly with that.

In the most recent season, Dalia Hassan, played by Necar Zadegan, is the 5'9" mother of her adult daughter played by 5'4" Nazneed Contractor. It's like Kiefer needs reaffirmation that there are other kids out there who happen to be bizarrely shorter than their parents.

Since then, I've been conditioned to notice this error in casting. Past shows like Home Improvement made the mistake of not checking with the parents of Jonathon Taylor Thomas or just not thinking the show would stay on as long for the youngest son to reach full height. The oldest and youngest sons on the show stood nearly a foot taller than JTT. I never really watched that show anyway. It was just something to make fun of if that topic was ever brought up.

Most recently, in the show Modern Family, the oldest daughter played by Sarah Hyland is only 5'2". I truly thought she was like 13 years old until I saw the episode where she gets her driver's license and decided to look her up. She is seriously 19 years old. If the show lasts several seasons(which I hope it will because it's hysterical), how will they explain the foot height difference among her, her siblings and the two tall actors cast to play her parents. It's bothersome. I believe the harmonious unlikely concept of the show more than I believe that 2 tall parents could spawn a daughter that short.

But now having to pick a show that's on at the actual time I want to watch T.V., I'm finding myself watching shows I normally would have skipped or at least only half watched, like Law & Order: Criminal Intent. They have now a new actress, Saffron Burrows, playing Det. Zach Nichol's (Jeff Goldblum's) partner Detective Serena Stevens. Her American accent is terrible so I obviously knew she was British (another pet peeve... Really? No American actress in all of Hollywood was better than a Brit playing an American). I actually don't mind Burrows that much in this role, though, so maybe she really was the best actress for the job. What bothers me is that her background is as a detective from Chicago. Ha. I'm from Chicago, and I've never heard a cop talk like her. Maybe she should go watch the Fugitive a hundred times and study up on those detectives in that movie (they're not real actors, they ARE actually Chicago cops). An easily fixed solution to this error in continuity besides changing where she's from: Nichols says, "You're from Chicago? You don't sound like it." Stevens answers, "My parents are British." Boom! 2 lines and the show moves on. They spend more time on suspense music than they would need to fix this error in her accent.

Finally, a major error in detail that has stuck in my mind for several years is from "That 70s Show". It was the episode when they all go to visit different colleges in Wisconsin, and they mention the Marquette Golden Eagles. Marquette didn't acquire the Golden Eagles mascot until 1994. Up until then, they were the Warriors.

Project Runway Gets Nasty

Last night was the season finale of Project Runway, and in true fashion, Emilio was overly confident and super defensive. We'd pretty much seen Mila's line with her 3 looks last week, and as usual, I wish I had watched the entire season on mute so that I wasn't swayed by my personal opinion, which was that Seth Aaron deserved to win because he was just a better person than the other 2. I was not disappointed, he did win, on his entertainment merit having nothing to do with his likable personality. Like I always say about talented celebrities, Whitney Houston may be a crackhead, Mariah Carey is as loony as a box of Fruit Loops, and most recently, Tiger Woods is a total scumbag, but that doesn't change the fact that they're awesome at what they do.

But everything else I want to say about the season is put on the back burner and overshadowed by the "OMG comment" Jay spewed at Cerri. He was SO offended by her criticisms of his work, which indeed, were unnecessary and petty, that he said he would never hire a model with bad teeth and thick legs. I screamed!... probably waking up my poor cousin who has to work first thing in the morning. Honestly, I think she deserved it. I hope that Jay doesn't get a bad reputation for being a sore loser just because he got a little defensive.

I had liked Cerri the whole season up until she encouraged and supported that bitter insecure clodhopping excuse for a model, Brandise, who decided to make it her sole purpose to beat down Brittany. Other than a bad complexion, Brittany was a doll. I honestly want to call the execs at Proactive and say that they've found their next spokesperson because Brittany would be perfect! She never once said anything bad about any other girl, and even when Brandise was unfairly attacking her behind her back and to her face, she had enough poise, grace and self-control to not say anything back.

All of a sudden, Cerri's mean side kicked in and she got right on board with Brandise's bad attitude. Just because Brandise was uncomfortable being over-the-hill for a model doesn't give her the right to knock down a sweet girl like Brittany who has her whole career ahead of her. Besides, Brandise is scary looking. I was never a fan of Mila's fashion, but I really didn't want her to win because I didn't want to see Brandise in Marie Claire, and I have a feeling that the judges didn't either.

Now back to fashion, while each designer had pieces that I did love, e.g. Mila's sequin dress, Emilio's gold dress, Seth's pea coat, but I wasn't blown away by any of the collections. I can't believe that I'm going to say this, but I'm actually sick of black.... and most of my wardrobe is black. It's like, "Hey! It's been done. Move along." I thought Emilio's pieces were perfectly pret-a-porter, but the colors were AWFUL! I was thinking Gantos circa 1985, and while we're on the subject, I'd put Mila's clothes right on the rack next to his. As for Seth Aaron, as much as Mila drove me crazy, her comment about a glamorous Hot Topic wasn't completely undeserved. All in all, I was actually kind of disappointed. I'm not even sure what's in style right now, but I thought that it was the incredible and creative use of color, which would put each of these designers fashion-backward. Fashion has hit a lull. It's time for every designer to get fresh.

Inanimate Objects Always get the Last Laugh

Do you ever wish that inanimate objects had feelings? When you, say, stub your toe on the corner of your bed frame or knock your knee on your coffee table, you could inflict the same amount of pain on that object that it inflicted upon you.

I was emptying the dishwasher this morning with the cabinet door open above it, and the corner of the cabinet just drilled into the top of my head. I almost instinctively started wailing on the cabinet in retaliation. Then the anger for not being able to get the cabinet back was worse than the actual physical pain.

It reminds me of a time that I was walking through a crowded bar with my brother, and some big oaf grabbed my ass. Instinctively, I turned around and decked the person. He happened to be about the size of a linebacker, and the amount of "pain" my punch inflicted upon him was about the equivalent to the pressure of a graceful declawed cat landing on your lap, but the point was that I noticed the vile act and responded equally and oppositely.

Meanwhile, my brother, shocked, asked, "Why did you just punch that guy?" I answered, "'Cause he grabbed my ass." My brother said, "Good, I wasn't about to mess with him." While I never got around to meeting the gentleman to find out if he was just a drunken idiot or a convicted rapist, I imagine he understood my dissatisfaction.

So how do you make inanimate objects feel the same pain you feel?

NCIS: Los Angeles not as good as NCIS

A few months ago I was surprised to learn that not only is NCIS the most watched drama on television, but that the new one, NCIS: Los Angeles was in the top 20. While I was surprised about NCIS, I wasn't shocked. It's good. The characters are likable, and Mark Harmon, even as an older man, is still hot. I know that they killed Kate's character because the actress wanted to leave the show, but I don't think that I'm the only one that thinks Ziva is like a million times better than Kate. Kate was a holier than thou, uptight bitty, and Ziva, well, Ziva just rocks.

After learning that the L.A. show was doing well, I started TiVoing it. It hasn't exactly captured my undivided attention yet. Now, I like Chris O'Donnell, LL Cool J and come on, Linda Hunt is from the Goonies. How could I not like her? When watching a new episode yesterday, the show began with Kensi, played by Daniela Ruah, getting shot to death. Then they did one of those cliche episodes where they go to 24 hours earlier and work their way to that shooting scene. I was psyched. I thought, "Hey! Maybe this show just got interesting." My husband and I both kind of hoped that she was really dead.

Disappointed, I was. I actually didn't watch the whole episode because it lost my attention halfway through, but I think the gist was that the whole shooting was a set-up, and it was all fake. So Kensi didn't die. I really think the show would have taken a turn for the better had they written her off. She just doesn't bring anything to the table. The scenes without her in them are more entertaining, and out with the truth now. That birth mark on her eye is SO DISTRACTING that I honestly don't pay attention to the plot when she's on because all I see is her crazy eye. Why would they cast someone with such a blatantly visible flaw? I mean, I think it's worse than Owen Wilson's nose or Melissa Joan Hart's mismatched face (this bugs my mom, I actually like her and don't mind her one droopy side).

Anyway, I think I've just about given up on NCIS: L.A. If I hear that Ruah's gone, I might go back to it, but right now I'm addicted to HGTV and dramas just aren't doing it for me, with the exception of "The Good Wife". If you're a woman, you should check it out. It's very entertaining. If you're a dude, it's probably not for you.